THE MOTHER AND CHIL. 
p R DOING WELL. 

5*097 

DRAMATIC LIBRARY 

OF 

feting Play s 

Printed from the Ac? ino Copy, with Re- 
marks on the Piece ; Description of Costume j 
Cast of Characters; Exits and Entrances; 
Relative Positions ; and correctly marked with 
the whole of the 

as performea in the 
Jjoudon and American Theatre, 

WITH 

SPIRIT£I> KiyGRAYINGS. 

PHILADELPHIA : 
FRED. TURNER, FVBIiISiaER J. 

Sold by Turner and Fisher, 

NEW YORK, & PHILADELPHIA. 




^J 



fuynet'g 3Bcamatfc SLlbvats, 
THE 

MOTHER AND CHILD ARE 
DOING WEtL. 

A FARCE, 
3Jit ©ite ^ct. -w 



BY r M. MORTON, Esq., 

^ fool A?,' '\^i^[iner^s Holiday," - Bouble.bedded 

Room, Thumping Legacy," » Attic story," « Young ' 

England," "Corporal's Wedding." Sfc..Sfc.,^, ^ 

CORRECTLY PRINTED FROM THE MOST APPROVED 
ACTING COPY 

WITH A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUME, CAST Q^HE 

CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES AND EXITS, JiMHIf 

POSITIONS, AND THE WHOLE OP THE 

STAGE business; '^ 

To which are added, 

raorERTlES AND DIRECTIONS, AS PERFORMED IN Tgt 

PRINCIPAL THEATRES. ' 



TURNER & FISHER: 
NEW YORK AND PHILADELPHrA. 

a 1 ^ t" -^ 



C0STDME.-Y'KS1>17 
— jV\3Mt 



Mr. UNVBGBY.— (A planter.) Nankeen trowsers, frock 
coat, and white waistcoat. 

LIEUT. O'SCUFPER, R. N.— (Ais nephew.) Lieutenant's 
modern uniform, white trowsers, cap, &c. 

Mr. FELIX FLUFFEY.— Light brown Newmarket 
cut coat, blue velvet waistcoat. 

MAXWELL.— Fink-striped trowsers, blue stockings, 
black hat (narrow rim.) 

^llJMUNGO. — {Servant to Snoqsey.) Nankeen trowsers 
and frock. 

A NEGRESS. — Negress dress cap and large red cloak. 

MISS PENELOPE SNUGSBY.— (TTard to Snugsby.) 
Light flowered muslin dress, cap, and large fan. 

EMILY.— (Warrf to Snugsbv.) All white, black jveil 
and &a. 



DRAMATIS PERSON^:. 





LONDON. 


N. YORK. 




ADELPHI. 


CHATHAM ST, 


Mr. Snugsby. 
Lieut O'Scupper. 
Mr. Felix Flvffey. 

A Negress. 

Miss Penelope Snugsby. 

Emily. 


Mr. Lambert. 
Mr. Bedford. 
Mr. Wright. 
Mr. Worrell. 
Mr. Lyndon. 
Mr. Thomas. 
Mrs. Laws, 
Miss Fortescue. 


Mr. Bellamy. 
Mr. Salisbury, 
Mr. Winans. 
Mr. Forester. 
Mr. Greggs. 
Mr. Barnett. 
Mrs. La Forest 
Miss Griffith. 


1 


0^ 





» TH£ MOTHER AlVD €HIL0 
ARE DOIIVC} l¥JE:iiL. 



SCENE. — A Pavilion, partaking both in its Architecture 
and Furniture of a Tropical character. At l. c. an 
alcove, with curtains drawn before it, at c. a door, near 
the door a large screen ; at r. c. a widow; atK. a door; 
before the fire place at l,, a sofa, also table and chairs 
with Pen, Ink and Paper. In centre taking Coffee, 
Snugsby, Miss Penelope, O'Scupper are seated at table ; 
Ehilt is on the sofa ; Maxwell seated at another small 
table at R. l., is engaged writing, from time to time look- 
ing towards Emily, observed by Lieut. O'Scupper. 

Snu. Before Sister Penelope turns over another leaf, per- 
haps she'll pour me out another cup of coffee. 

Pen. {Putting book down) Heigho ! poor Werther ! poor 
Charlotte! 

SnU' Poor fiddlesticks! a couple of silly, snivelling, 
mawkish sentimental twaddlers; I only wonder, Sister 
Pen, how, at your time of life — 

Pen. My time of life, brother Snugsby ! 

O^Scu. {Aside to Snugsby.) Breakers ahead ! come most 
respectable of female aunts, kiss the old gentleman and be 
friends. You don't suppose I left my ship in Kingston 
harbour and ran seventy-five miles up the country for the 
gratification of seeing two eldery individuals, of opposite 
sexes, pecking at one another from morning till night. 
Take my advice, fight it out at once, and have done with 
it. 

Snu. Bless you, we're the best friends in the world, 
ain't we, old girl? [Giving Miss P. a kiss. 

O^Scu. {Rising.) 'Pon my life, but this is a mighty com- 
fortable little snuggery. [Looking about him. 
[All come forward. 



4 THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 

Snu. We call it the Pavilion. I built it expressly for 
my exeellent young friend, Maxwell, my indefatigable head 
clerk (Maxwell feoics.) whose activity and intelligence have 
doubled the annual produce of the Snugsby sugar planta- 
tions. 

Enter a Negro, r. teho clears table. 

Max. Sir, I have only done my duty as your faithful ser- 
vant. 

Snu. Now don't be so damned modest ; I tell you you're 
a treasure, and what's more, I'll quarrel with you 'or any- 
body who dares to say the contrary. \ 

Pen. I'm sure, brother, we sha'nt contradict you on 
that matter. 

Emi. ( Warmly.) No, indeed, Guardy. 

O^Scu. {Aside.) No, indeed, Guardy I my pretty cousin 
seems to take a mighty warm interest in this said Mr. 
Maxwell ; I suppose its the climate. 

Snu. Besides isn't it the interest of an old fellow like 
rne to prop himself up in his old age with as many affec- 
tionate hearts as he can muster about him ? First and 
foremost, there's old Pen — 

Pen. Old Pen ! 

Snu. Well, dear Pen, affectionate old soul. 

Pen. Old again I 

Snu. Who has refused I don't know how many offers — 

Pen. Twenty-three I 

Snu. Twenty-three I think of that — to spend her old 
days with her younger brother. 

Pen. Old days ! younger brother ! you're incorrigible. 

Snu. Ha ! ha I and here — here's my little man of war, 
my sucking Nelson ! {clapping him on the back.) gets leave 
to come on shore as often as he can to take his old uncle 
by the hand ; and then there's my laughing merry romping 
little ward, Emily; but I say, young lady, I don't think 
you are quite so merry and romping lately. 

Emi. {Confused.) I — am not— very well. 

Max. (Eagerly.) Indeed ! 

O'Scu. {Aside and imitating.) Indeed ! by my soul, but 
the head clerk seems to feel the warmth of the climate as 
much as my cousin. 



TUG MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOINS WELL. » 

Snu, Egad, Emily, you must recover your good looks, 
aye and your merry looks too, or what will your future 
husband, Mr. Felix Fluffey, say ? 

Emi. I'm sure I don't care. 

■O'Scu. Spoken like a man. 

Snu. Holloa I mutiny ! hold your tongue, sir. 

O'Scu. I beg pardon, uncle of mine, but as I'm in the 
family already, and as this Mr. DufFey — 

Snu. Fluffey. 

0'5cM. Fluffey seems likely to bein the family way too ; 
I should like to know what there is about this same Mr. 
Guffey— 

Snu. Fluffey. I'll tell you; his father and I were 
sehool-fellows, we came the same half-year and left the 
same half-year, I to the West Indies to grow sugar, he to 
Cheapside to sell it. Well, years past ; a couple of bad crops 
brought ' me to the verge of bankruptcy; Fluffey, like a 
noble fellow, came forward and saved me, but before ray 
acknowledgment of his generosity could reach him. — he 
died. [Affected. 

O'Scu. Poor Muffey I and Master Felix is his son. 

Snu. Yes — and as I couldn't then conveniently refund 
the mon€y advanced by his father, I made him one of the 
house, and now I'm going to make him one of the family, 
if my little girl here likes him. 

Emi. And if the little girl does not like him — 

Snu. Why then the little girl shan't have him ! — but 
you must give him a fair tri&l — it's a long way to come a 
courting from Cheapside to Jamaica. 

0'5cu. (^Aside.) I see it clearly and distinctly defined 
in perspective, that I shall have to blow Mr. Puffey's brains 
out. 

Snu. Now, Maxwell, the sooner you are off the better ? 

Max. Off ?— where sir ? 

Snu, Where ? Why to Kingston, of course, in order 
that you may be ready to receive Mr. Fluffey on his land- 
ing — and Maxwell, on your road you may as well as cer- 
tain if my Dutch friend and neighbour, Mynheer Von 
Pools, whose estate joins mine, has yet returned from his 
annual trip to Rotterdam ! — and then at the same time you 
can deliver somelhing for me to his pretty daughter 
Katrine. 



D THB HOTQXR IND CHIIiD ARB DOING WSLL. 

Max. What, sir ? 

Srm. A kiss ! 

Max. (Confused.) I really— that is — 

O'Scu. I'll give it her 1 

Pen. {To Maxwell.) Come, Mr. Modesty, I'm sure 
you liked the girl ! 

Snu. Sweet as sugar upon her ! 

Max. Nay, I assure you — 

Snu. Ob, very well, — you know best — and now, as we've 
been your guests long enough, we'll go up to Snugsby's 
House and mix the punch. 

[Snugsby, Miss P. and O'Scdpper retire wp. 

Max. {Aside to Emily.^ One word 1 

Emi. Hush ! take this. 

Max. A key ? 

Emi. Yes. It opens the small gate that separates thd 
two estates. 

Max. I see !— You're an angel of goodness. 

[Taking her hand. - 

O^Scu. {Who has Been impatienily watching them, now 
comes forward) Ahem! {Puts a shawl on Emily.) A 
pleasant journey to you Mr. Maxwell ! 

[ Taking Emily's arm with his. 

Emi. Good bye !— take care of yourself! 

[To Maxwell. ^ 

0''Scu. {Fiercely to Maxwell.) Yes, sir, take care of 
yourself ! 

Snu. {Coming forward.) Now, Pen, come along. Good 
bye. Maxwell, {Shaking hands.) the sooner you get your 
nag saddled and start, the sooner you'll be able to tell Mr. 
Fluffey how we all long to see him. 

Emi. (Aside.) Heigho ? 

O'Scu. CufFey's a dead man I 
[Exeunt Snugsby, Miss P., Emily, and O'Scupper, at c. 

Max. Well ! mine's a pleasant situation ! as for obeying 
Mr. Snugsby's orders and starting off for Kingston, that's 
quite out of the question. Ha ! ha ! I can't help laugh- 
ing at poor O'Scupper's jealousy — he's deseperately in love 
with his cousin, Emily, and fancies be sees a rival in me — 
pshaw — but how to undeceive him — no — no — my secret 
must remain unrevealed until Mynheer Von Poot's return, 



THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 7 

and then he, and all shall know Emily is nought to me 
but the faithful confiidante — the dear, generous friend of 
ray beloved Katrine — my wife for more tham a year — and 
within these few days, the mother of my boy — and such a 
boy. Katrine promised that her faithful old nurse should 
bring him to me here to-night— so let me make haste and 
unlock the gate. 

O'Scw. (WitAoMt centre [door.) But you shall hear me! 

Max. O'Scupper's voice .' Then I've no time to lose I 
[Jumps out of the vnndow, closing the blinds after him. 

Enter O'Scdpper at c. pulling in Miss Penelope. 

Pen, Where are you dragging me too ? 

O'Scu. Don't be frightened I It's all right • Aunt— • 

Fra. What is the the matter ? 

O'iScM, The matter ? Need you put on your spectacles 
to see that I'm road I — frantic ! — in short, a victim to the 
tender passion ! [Furiously, 

Pen. Very tender certainly ! In a word, you're in loveo 
with your cousin Emily ! , 

O'Scu. In two words, I am ! 

Pen. I know it, and have spoken to brother ,Snugsby in 
your favour — but I regret to say — 

O'Scu. That'll do — then all I can say is, that the mo- 
ment Mr. Tuffeyj becomes an inhabitant of this island» 
be ceases to be one of its population ! 

Pen. Nonsense — before you begin depopulatipg the 
island, are you sure that Emily loves you ? 

0''Scu. She never said so — but then some women have a. 
knack of saying a good deal without opening their mouths 
— little interesting telegraphic signals — by the bye, talk- 
ing of signals, I saw cousin Emily and the head clerk 
exchange winks— I mean looks — and then they whispered. 

Pen. I saw them I 

O'Scu. You didn't happen to hear them ? 

Pen. No ! did you 7 

O'Scu. D'ye think I'd be guilty of such a dirty actijott ? 
now after mature deliberation, I think the most satisfac- 
tory course to all parties that I can pursue under the 
present circumstances, is to kill Mr. Puffey first ; then if 
Emily marries Mr. Maxwell, to kill hirfi; and after that, 
if she wont marry me, to kill myself; 



O THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WEUm 

Pen. Now don't be rash ; recollect Mr. FIufFey can't 
possibly be here till the day after to-morrow, and— 

Enter Mungo at c. D.frotn l, 

Mun. He, he ! Massa FlufTycome, Massa Flufieycome ! 

O'Scu. The devil ! 

Mun. Iss. 

Pen. Mr. Fluflfey arrived ! and his room not ready I 

O'Scu. Ha, ha ! he won't have mine ! 

Pen. How ridiculous to arrive two days before his time ! 

O'Scu. Quite absurd 1 We'll send him back again i 
Mungo, tell the gentleman to go back again ! 

Mun. Iss, Massa ! [Going. 

Pen. Stay ; on second thoughts, as Mr. Maxwell has 
gone to Kingston, Mr. Fluffey can pass the night here in 
the Pavilion. Mungo, see every thing prepared ; make 
haste, and bring lights. 

Mun. Iss, Missy Penelope. [Runs out, c 

Scu. Oh! the gentleman sleeps here does he, then I'll 
know where to find him to- morrow morning, and we cait 
fight it out comfortably before l;>reakfast. 

Flu. (Without.) What, taken you by surprise, eh ? just 
my way, ha ! ha ! 

Enters, followed by Snugsby and Servants with candles. 

If there is one thing, Snuggy, I adore more than another,^ 
it is taking people by surprise, here ! (putting his hat in 
Snugsby's hand and wiping his forehead with his handker- 
chief, 

Snu. {Astonised.) Ha ! ha ! rather cool at first sight. 

Flu. Cool, you call it, phew ! 

Snu. My dear Mr. FIufFey, allow me the pleasure of 
presenting to you — 

Flu. I know, the lovely creature whose charms — you — 
[Looking at M\ss P. whom Suvgsby presents. 

Snu. My sister, Miss Penelope Snugsby. 

Fill. Good gracious, how you frightened me. 

[Bows to Miss P. 

Snu. (^Pointing to O'Scupper who is on the other side of 
Fluffey.) That my dear Fluffey, is — 

Flu. Ah! [Tenderly and turning to O'Scopper, wha 
looks, daggers at him, nose to nose, Fluffey retreats^ 



THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL, 9 

Snu. That, I say, is ray nephew, Lieutenant O'Scupper, 
of the Royal Navy. 

Flu. The Royal Navy ? oh ! a military man. {Aside.) 
Memorandum, not a man to quarrel with. {Aloud.) Sir, 
I hope we shall be friends — dear friends. {Trying to take. 
O'Scopper's hand, who withdraws.) I honour your profes- 
sion I (following him.) I revere your cloth ! 
{Here Fluffey turns about as if looking for some one, 

Snugsby, Miss P., and O'Sc0pper da the same. 

Snu. Have you dropped any thing' ? 

Flu. Oh ! dear, no, but there is another interesting 
member of the family — 

Snu, My ward, Emily ! yes, but between you and me^ 
she's rather — 

Pen. Yes — slightly — 

Flu. Oh ! indisposed, eh ! what's the matter ? 

Snu. Why, I don't exactly know — 

[Fluffey turns to Miss P. 

Pen. I can't exactly say. 

f Fluffey turns to O'Scupper. 

O'Scu. {Fiercely.) I know nothing at all about it. 

Flu. Evidently a peculiar case — 

Snu. Never mind. Well, Mr. TlufFey, I hope you en- 
joyed your voyage? 

Flu. ( Very seriously.) No, sir, I did not. 

Snu. Ha ! ha ! you were rather unwell, eh ? 

Flu. Unwell I sir, I happened to be horribly ill — ex- 
crucialingly ill. I went to bed of the Nore Light and 
there I stopped the whole voyage ; never got up once, not 
even to have the thing they called my bed made. Catch 
me going back by sea, that's all ! 

O^Scy. I should recommend the serial machine. 

Flu. I must wait till some such clever genius as your- 
self has completed it ! In the mean time I shall be per- 
fectly satisfied with the rail-road ! 

Snu. Well, Mr. Fluffey, as I said before, you're heartily 
welcome. 

Flu. You did not say it before, but never mind that ? 

Pen. Mr. Fluffey— 

Flu. {Yawning very loud.) Ma'am. Beg pardon, buS 
it's a, habit I've got, when I'm sleepy I 



30 THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOINO WELL. 

Snu. Sleepy are you? then suppose we retir&for the 
night. Egad, you come upon us so suddenly that we ain't 
had time to get your room ready— so you must sleep here 
— it's not far from the house, and I'm sure you're not afraid 
of robbers. 

Flu. I don't know that. 

Snu. Not that there are any. 

Flu. Oh, then I'm not. Three^fingered Jack's dead, 
isn't he ? I saw him once at the Coburg ! 

Snu. Well, good night, and to-morrow morning I'll 
present you to Emily. 

Flu. Well, considering the distance I've come on pur- 
pose, I think that's the least you can do. 

Snu. By the bye, we breakfast at five. 

Flu. Do we ? then if youVe no objection I'll take my 
breakfast to bed with me. 

Snu. Ha, ha ! You're a wag ! Good night ! 

[Shaking his hand. 

Pen. Good night, Mr. Fluffey ! {Aside to him, mystev 
iously.) I've something to say to you — mum ! 

[Putting her finger to her lip, and retiring up. 

0''Scu. (Turning Fluffey round to him who is wonder- 
ing at Miss Penelope's conduct.) Good night. Snuffy ! 
{Aside to him.) We shall meet again — mum I 

[Same play as Miss P. 
[Exeunt Sncgsbt, Miss P., and O'Scupper, at c. the two 

latter repeating their signals to Fluffey. 

Flu. {Imitating them.) " I've something to say to you, 
mum." " We shall meet again, mum." What can they 
mean? I always had a horror of mysteries I whether 
from the natural openness of my disposition, or from rea- 
ding the Mysteries of Udolpho at an early age, I don't 
know ; but this I do know — that I don't feel altogether so 
comfortable in the Tropics as I should wish ! What can 
be the matter with the future Mrs. Fluffey? Nobody 
seems to know — then why not send for a doctor — that's 
what we should do in England, then why not in the 
Tropics ? then to make me pass my first night in a solitary 
sort of out-house ; a visitor would not be treated so in 
England, then why should he in the Tropics ? No mat- 
ter, a night is soon passed ; so before I lie down, I'll just 



' THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARK DOING *r«Li.. 11 

take a survey of the premises (taJces candle— opens ?ctn- 
dow — the candle is extinguished) of course ! It's a singu- 
lar fact, but I've remarked that I've never particularly 
objected to being left in the dark, that the candle wasn't sure 
to go out ! I don't even know whereabouts the bed is ! 
{feeling about, knocks against sofa) come, no nonsense ! 
it's a sort of couch — that'll do, so I'll just lie down as I 
am. (Lies down with his head towards the foot of the 
couch.) What a delicious thing a good stretch is ! {Leans 
}ds head back and nearly falls off — gets up and lies down 
the other way of the couch — pause — then suddenly sits up.) 
Holloa! I've had nc supper ! I used to enjoy that meal 
in England, why shouldn't I in the Tropics ? Ah ! 
{Yawning and lying down again — pause — goes to sleep and 
snores violently.) Who's that snorning ? if there is — one — 
thing — more. [Goes to sleep. 

[A tap at the window heard. 

Flu. {Half asleep.) Come in. 

[ The window opens, and a head appears. 

Voice. Massa ! Ma^sa I Maxwell ! 

Flu. {Half awake.) Umph! 

Voice. Bery good news about de moder and piccaninny ! 

Flu {Half awake.) What's that about a murder in Pic- 
cadilly ? 

Voice. Massa! {Very loud — FhVfF^Y jumps up and 
hides behind the couch.) Moder and child quite well. 

[ Disappears. 

Flu. Mother and child quite well ! The voice distinctly 
said, " Mother and child quite well !" What mother ? 
what child ? It's nothing to me. I'm not supposed to 
take an interest in all the mothers and children in the 
Tropics ! Holloa — thieves — somebody at the door ! 
[Hastily runs behind the screen, door opens, and an old 

Negress enters enveloped in a cloah, a lantern in [her 

hand and a cradle under the cloak. 

Neg. Hist ! massa Maxwell — massa {comes down) I 
spose him sleep — no — dere him is. {Seeing Fluffey's head 
above the screen,) Make haste, massa Mac — 

Flu. What the deuce is massa Mac I 

Neg. Him ail right ! 

Flu. Oh! it's all right, is it? 



12 THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 

\ 

[Comes out from behind the screen, the Negress takes him 

by the arm and leads him mysteriously forward. 

Neg. You not know me, eh ? 

Flu. Can't say I do ; the fact is, yours is that sort of 
face that nobody can see and ever forget. 

Neg, I'm de nurse, he ! he ! 

Flu. Oh ! you're the nurse, are you ? {Aside after look- 
ing intently at her.) Now, to my idea, this is a woman 
without the slightest pretensions to beauty. 

Neg. Oh ! massa Max— 

Flu. Poo ! don't massa Max me '. what's your business, 
Mrs. Blacky ? 

Neg. Oh ! massa, you boder me so. Why you no gib 
me de key of little gate, eh ? 

Flu. (Aside.) What can the tawney object mean ? 

Neg. But neber mind, I'b got him! 

Flu. Oh ! you've got him, who ? 

Neg. De piccaninny. 

Flu. (Aside.) She's in Piccadilly again ! 

Neg. Debabby! 

Flu. Ha ! ha ! what, you've got a baby, have you ? 

Neg. Iss, of course. 

Flu. Well, all I can say is, if the baby's like its mamma, 
it must be a beauty ! 

Neg. Iss, tlie moder's very lubly ! 

Flu. Is she ! (Aside.) I wonder now if this mahogany 
colored creature ever looks at herself in the glass ? 

Neg. And she lubyou dearly. 

Flu. (Alarmed.) Come, Mrs. Blacky, no liberties ! 

Neg. Oh ! neber fear ; me rader die than tell the secret ! 

Flu. Secret? 

Neg. Me nebber get de poor young lady turned out ob 
doors by de family, nebber ! 

Flu. Young lady ! secret ! good gracious ! 

Neg. So I put hirn on de couch, dere, (goes to couch, 
takes a very small baby's cradle from under cloak and 
places it on the couch unseen by Fluffev, who is wrapt in 
thought) dere, and now massa, I come back for him in 
half an hour ; good bye, massa. [Going. 

Flu. Here, stop — 

Neg. No time now, massa ; come back presently ; take 
care of piccanninny. [Exit at l. 



THE MOTHER, AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 13 

Flu. The woman's mad ! evidently driven crazy by 
something that happened to her Piccadilly ! absurd — (goes 
to the couch and sits down on the cradle ; child screams vi- 
olently ; jumps up hastily.) Murder ! {runs to the table, 
brings down lantern and holds it close to the table.) Ha, ha ! 
it is an infant ! What's your name ? Who are you ? 
What do you want ? {Shouting and shaking the cradle 
violently, child screams lustily.) Hold your tongue, will 
you? {comes forward.) Ah, I see it all ! yes, Miss Emily's 
mysterious indisposition; the young mother; the indig- 
nant family ; the secret ; the baby ; I've hit it. {Banging 
the cradle.) Catch me coming to the tropics again for a 
wife ; but what's to be done ? {Child screams.) Silence — 
I did not address myself to you ! {Knock at the door) here's 
somebody else. Blacky come back for the child 1 Come 
in. 

Enter Miss Penelope at c. 

Flu. {Running to her.) Here, take it I Miss Penelope ? 
[Hastily holding the cradle behind his back. 

Pen. Hush ! {Bringing him cautiously forward.) Mr. 
FlufFey. {Aside, during which Fluffey keeps alternately 
looking at Miss P. and then taking a peep at the cradle,) 
Yes, 1 must at all risk prevent a duel ; I'll confess to him 
my nephew O'Scupper's attachment to Emily, and pre- 
vail on him to renounce her hand. 

Flu. {Aside.) I really think I do see a sort of a kind of 
a likeness. 

Pen. {Aloud.) Mr. Fluffey ! 

Flu. Miss P. 

Pen. You are doubtless surprised at this visit ! 

Flu. Why — I might have been in bed. 

Pen. Listen ! a motive of gigantic importance brings 
me here ; in a word, I am come to confess to you a tale of 
secret love — 

Flu. Eh? You? {Aside.) Poor old soul, who'd have 
thought it. {Aloud.) Don't distress yourself, Miss P., I 
know all about it. 

Pen. {Astonished.) You do ? Well ? 
^ Flu. Well ? 

Pen. I vow you surprise me most agreeably I I dreaded 
your indignation. 



14 THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 

Flu. Lor bless you, its nothing- to me. 

Pen. But my brother Snugsby, I quite dread. 

Flu. Don't alarm yourself, I'll talk the old gentleman 
over. . 

Pen. You will ? oh, you 'dear man ; then I'll leave it 
in your hands, eh ? 

Flu, No, I'd rather you took it away with you. 

Pen. It? What? 

Flu. Why — the — you know — take it, its yours I 
[Holding out cradle to Miss Penelope, who screams and 

retreats ; Fluffey following her, holding out the cradle. 

Pen. Mine ! oh you wretch ! (^About to rush at him.) 
Hark ! footsteps ? 

Flu. Ha, ha ! Somebody else. 

Pen. (Aside.) Should it be nephew O'Scupper. {Aloud.) 
Where can I hide, ah, here ! {Runs to the door R. stops) 
Mr. FlufFey, lie down and go to sleep insfently. 

Flu. Its very easy to say go to sleep instantly. 

Pen. I entreat. 

Flu. Pooh ! 

Pen. I implore. 

Flu. Absurd. 

Pen. Yoar life's at stake I [Enters room. 

Flu. Ohlud! 
[Jumps on couch and begins snoring violently ; Miss ]^ 

shuts do6r after her. 

Rain heard — Enter Maxwell in large cloak and hat at c. 
door. 

Max. Zounds, what a shower ! the coast seems clear ! 
yes. 

Flu, {Without moving.) Now who can this be? 

Max. Can the old nurse have arrived with her precious 
charge during my absence ? 

Flu. What is he mumbling to himself about ? 

Max. As for going to sleep that's quite out of the ques- 
tion. 

Flu. Quite, I've given up the idea long ago. 

Max. What an uncomfortable position is mine. 

Flu. So is mine ; but I'm afraid to move. 
[Maxwell takes off his wet coat and flings it on Fluffet; 

then sprinkles him with the wet of his hat. 



TBE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. IS 

Max. Heigho ! {Sits down upon Fluffed, who shoutsf 
and jumps q^.) Ah I {Seizes the lantern lejt on the table 
by Miss Penelope, and holds it up towards Fluffey.) Who 
are you ? Speak, or you're a dead man ! 

Flu. Keep your distance, or I blow your brains out. 
[Threatening him with the cradle. 

Max, What are you doing here ? 

Flu. What I've been doing this last hour— trying to go 
to sleep. 

Max, In my apartment ? 

Flu. Your apartment ? {Aside.) Then this must be Mr. 
Massy Mac. {Advancing to Maxwell and in a myster- 
ious manner.) The mother and child in Piccadilly are quite 
well! 

Max. {With great energy.) Ah ! 

Flu. Here ! {Presenting the table to Maxwell, who 
eagerly takes it and leisses child.) Who wouldn't be a 
father ! 

Max. {Aside.) He might betray my secret, I roust de. 
ceive him ! {aloud) ah 1 sir, you speak feelingly, you 
doubtless are a father ? 

Flu. No, sir, I havn't come the patetnal yet ! 

Max. {Markedly.) Nor I ! 

Flu. {Laughing,) Oh I come — come — 

Max. {Very forcibly.) Nor I. I presume I need not ex= 
plain how this tender infant was thrown upon my hands. 

Flu. Oh ! dear, no, it's off mine, that's all I care about. 

Max, {Aside.) Who can he be ? {aloud) sir, not a word 
of what you know. 

Flu. But what do I know ? I should very much like 
to know what I do know ! 

Max. Pshaw ! Remember my words, sir ! One sylla- 
ble to any human being of what you have seen and heard 
to night — and you're a dead man ? 

Flu. But good gracious — 

i¥ax. Silence ! Farewell! (Going — stops.) Well re- 
membered, since it is evident you possess the confidence 
of— a certain individual — you know who — give that indi- 
vidual this key it opens— you know what. 

[Mysieriously. 

Flu, Of course I do I {Aside.) I hav'nt the most distant 



16 



THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 



conception what he's talking about. (Aloud 'and taking 
Jcey.) I will ! 

Max. (Aside.) Now then, at all hazards, to see my be- 
loved Katrine. (Goes towards door — stops.) Remember 
— from this moment I follow you like your shadow — one 
word— one look ! and — 

[Imitating action of slabbing — puts on Fluffey's hat — 
much too small, and goes out at c. 

Flu. '^ One word — one look— and — " (Imitating.) I 
don't think I ought to stand this sort of thing- any longer 
— it's time the British lion was roused I Damme, I'll kick 
up a dust in Jamaica ! I'll be the talk of the Tropics ! 
(Shouting.) Come back Massy Mac, and give me satisiac- 
tion — I'll after him ! (Putting on Maxwell's hat — much 
too large for him.) Holloa ! he's walked off with my hat— 
I say, you sir — come back — Holloa I [Runs out at c. 

Enter Miss Penelope hastily from r. 

Pen. Now then, to make my escape and report these 
mysterious proceedings to Brother Snugsby (goes towards 
c. and opens door.) some one else — a woman too ! 

[Hastily retreats behind the screen. 

Emi. (Putting her head in at door in c.) Hist! hist! 
sir — Mr. FluiFey ! can I come in ? (Enters cautiously.) 
He must be asleep ! I almost wish I had not ventured — 
but this letter— this sudden declaration of my cousin 
O'Scupper's attachment, compels me to throw myself on 
Mr. Fluffey's generosity, and implore him to renounce 
my hand I (Aloud and calling.) Sir — Mr. Fluffy ! it is I ! 
Emily. 

O'Scupper outside at c. door, 

O'Scu. Holloa ! Mr. Duffey. [Knocking at door in c. > 

Pen. Ah I [Again retreating behind screen. 

Emi, My cousin's voice ; what will he think if he sees 
me here ? He must not. 

O'Scu. (Without.) Open the door and save me the 
trouble of tearing it off the hinges. 

[Shaking door violently. 

Emi. Oh mercy ! [Runs into room, r. 



' TUB MOTHER AND CUILJP ARE DOING WELL. 17 

O'ScuppER forces door open and Enters. 

O'Scu. By my faith, but Mr. GufFey must be a sound 
sleeper! but I think I've an article here that'll disturb his 
slumbers: (Taking a brace of pistols from his pocket and 
placing them on table ; Emily opens door, and is seen to 
listen.) But stay, don't let me be rash ; — cousin Emily 
might'nt perhaps like to have Mr. GufFey sent out of the 
world on her account. With all my heart, I'll get up a 
quarrel with him about something else. I'll dilTer with 
him entirely I I'll tell him I'm not partial to his personal 
appearance; {Turns, Emily hastily ' closes the door.) 
What's that? Somebody shut that door. The coward's 
hiding himself. I'll have hirn out! (Runs and tries to 
open door, which is held back.) Come out— come out. 
[Trying to open door. Miss P. takes iioo or three steps 

towards door in c. but immediately runs back on seeing 

Fluffey enter at the door. 

Flu, (Fanning himself.) Pheugh '. what a run I've had 
of it. I thought I should have caught him ; but I didn't. 

I've caught nothing but a violent cold in my -[Sneezes, 

O'ScupPER turns, and they both perceive one another at the 
same time. 

Both. Oh : 

Flu. {Aside.) Novp, how did he get here. There must 
be trapdoors on the premises. A considerable quantity of 
trapdoors. [Looking about. 

O'Scu. {Looking from Fluffey to door at R., and then at 
Fluffey again.) How did you get here ? 

Flu. If you come to that, how did you get here ? 

O'Scu. {Aside.) If he's here, it can't be he that's there, 
{pointing to door k. Taking Fluffey's arm to bring him 
down.) Mr. DufFey ! 

Flu. Fluffey ! 

O'Scu. Do you see that door ? 

Flu. I think I may venture to assert, without hesitation 
or prevarication, that I do see that door ! 

O'Scu. There's somebody on the other side of it ! 

Flu. {Aside.) That stupid old creature, Miss Penelope, 
not gone yet. 

O'Scu. Who's your friend ? 

Flu. Excuse me — gallantry forbids ! [Conceitedly. 

O'Scu. That's enough ! {Goes to table and brings down 



18 THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 

pistols.) I hope your gallantry won't forbid you taking 
your choice of these ! You know what they are ? 

Flu, {Looking at them with eye glass.) I should say, a 
species of fire arms ! 
O'Scu. Pistols ! 
Flu. Oh ! 

O'Scu. I see we Understand one another, so follow me. 

[Going. 

Flu. But we don't understand one another ! all I can 

gather from ytur rather unconnected and slightly disjoined 

conversation, is, that the article you carry, is a sample of 

that species of firearm, called a pistol; but what its virtues 

and properties.'are 

O'Scu. To send a brace of bullets through your head, 
unless you open that door. 

Flu, If this is meant for a joke young man, you'd better 
try another, because I don't like it, — I don't like it L 
Zounds, damn it, who do you take rae for ? — who does any 
body take me for ? One chap blows my brains out if I 
open my lips — another blows them out if I don't open a 
door ! I won't stand it. So if you want a fight, I'm 
your^man. None of your cowardly twelve paces for me — 
no — muzzle to muzzle, across a handkerchief— toss for 
first fire — heads I win, tails you lose, that's my way of 
doing business. 

O'Scu. Very well ! then I needn't say what I was going 
to say ; 

Flu. You may as well! I'm open to an apology ! 
O'Scu. Pshaw I I was merely about to observe, that 
there was a way of avoiding this duel. 

Flu. So there is. By not fighting ! I like your notion. 
O'lScM. No, sir ; but by your instantly discovering to me 
the individual concefiled in that room. But, I forget, your 
gallantry won't allow you. 

Flu. Won't it though ! {Crosses to r, door — runs to door 
— his attempts to open it are resisted.) Let go the handle 1 
{Shouting.) Unhand the handle ! 
O'Scu. It's no one — we must fight ! 
Flu. But it is of use, and we won't fight ! {Pulling the 
door open. Fluffey recoils across the stage to l. Emily 
comes out, Ha I ha ! somebody elseji Another trap doer 
at work. 

O'Scu, Cousin Emily. 
Flu. Mrs. Fluffey, elect 1 



THB MOTHER AND CHILD AKE DOING WELL. 19 

O'Seu. (Furiously to Fluffet.) Now, sir — will you ex- 
plain ? 

Flu. I would, if I could ; but I can't I I'm lost ! 
bewildere i ' I give it up ! 

JUmi. Cousin ! 

O'Scii, Madam ! allow me to say that your presence 
here, is at least illtimed. 

Flu. Very ill timed, ma'am. I ought to have been 
asleep an hour ago. 

Emi. {To Fluffey.) To you, Mr. FIufFey, I apologize. 

Flu. (Opening his carpet bag, takes out nightcap and 
shirt.) She doesn't seem at all inclined to go. I'll see if 
I can't frighten her away. (Puts on his nightcap.) Ahem I 

Emi. (Aside to O'Scupper.) Cousin, you are unkind! 
And when you know that I came here solely to prevail on 
Mr. FIufFey to renounce my hand. 
[Fluffey goes up to table to pistols, and talces out the 

charges. 

O'&u. Can it be possible. Oh, you jewel ! 

[Kissing her hand. 

Emi, No time must be lost. My guardian will soon be 
here. 

O'Scu. "What's to be done ? 

Emi. Watch for his approach, and let me know when 
he's near, 

O'Scu. I will — I'll stand sentry among the bushes, 
while you 

Emi. Appeal to the generosity of your rival. 
[During the above, Fluffey is seen deliberately taking the 

charges out of the pistols. 

O'Scu, Farewell. [About to go out, Fluffey stands in 
his way and presents the pistols. 

Flu. (Fiercely.) You know what these are ! Pistols ! 
Take your choice. 

O^Scu. I accept your apology. 

Flu. Fiddlesticks ! I insist on fighting ! I never felt 
such an inclination to fight before. 

O Scu. Pshaw ! [Pushes him aside and runs out. 
Flu. (Shoutiug after him.) Coward — ah ! (Levelling pis- 
tol after O'Scupper. Emily screams.) Don't be afraid 
ma'am — they're not loaded, I mean — that is 



20 THE MOTHER AND CHILD AfcE DOING WftLL. 

[Emily takes the pistols from his hand) places them on tdble^ 

and then leads him forward. 

Emi. Mr. FluiFey is doubtless surprised at this visit! 

Flu. Ma'am, Mr. FlufFey's short Sojourn in the Tiropics 
has taught him not to be_ surprised at anything in the 
Tropics. 

Emi. Now, sir, to the point ! The marriage, which is 
in contemplation between us, is impossible ! 

Flu. Well, that is to the point, certainly. (Aside.) 'POh 
my life, as that hideous old woman said, she is berry 
lubly ! 

Emi. Oh, that you could have guessed my secret! 

Flu. How could I have the most distant particle of sus- 
picion. {Aside.) Really, Mr. Massy Mac is a lucky 
fellow. (Aloud.) I certainly heard you were indisposed ; 
but how you could possibly contrive to keep Mr. Snugsby 
in the dark- 

Emi. Oil — he was quite aware of it ! 

Flu. Was he ? (.Aside.) The old rascal'! 

Emi. But why talk of such a trifle ? 

Flu. Trifle! ha! ha! 

Emi. Oh Mr. Fluffey— don't— don't insist on marrying 
me. 

Flu. Lor bless you — not I ! You love another ; she 
told me so. 

Emi. She ? who ? 

Fltt. The— that frightful old woman — you know. 

Miss. P. (From screen.) The wretch rrieans me. 

Flut So I give you up-^resign my pretensions in favour 
of 

Emi. My dear cousin ! 

- Flu. Oh — you have got two cousins, eh ? 

Emi. No ; only orie !— my cousin O'Scupper. 

Flu. No—no. I mean t'other chap ! 

Emi, The other '. [Indignantly. 

Flu, I'm getting slightly confused : let's have a clear 
Understanding— you're quite sure it's Mr. O'Scupper that 
you're in love with ? 

Emi. (Tenderly.) Oh, quite ! 

Flu. Very well— then how does it happen that it was 
t'other chap that insisted on mv considering myself a dead 
man if I' didn't keep the secret ? in short how does it hap- 



THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 21 

pen that it was he who walked off with — our— Utile Pic- 
cadilly friend ? 

Emi. Really, sir — I don't understand. 

Flu. No more do I ; all I Ijnow is that a mysterious 
stranger, Number one, placed him in my arms — that I 
handed him over to mysterious stranger, Number two, who 
in his turn, gave me something else — and, as you are 
evidently the "certain individual," — you know who — why 
take this key — it opens, '• you know what !" 

\ Presenting Icey, 

Emi. That key ! — how came it into your h^inds ? 

Flu. I was desired to give it to you. 

Emi. No such thing ? he ought to have it ! 

Flu. He ! what he ? — which he ? There are two he's ! 
which of the he's ? [O'Scupper runs in c. door. 

O'Scu. The enemy's in sight ! 

Emi. My guardian ? 

Miss P. (From screen.) My brother 1 

Emi. He must not find me here. 

O'Scu. If he does — you'll be compelled to marry her. 

Flu. (Very quickly.) Hide — hide, if you love me ! 

[Hurries Emily into r. and skuts door. 

O'Scu. Not a syllable to my uncle — but I'll not trust 
you. Behind this screen I shall be able to over-hear — 
[Goes to screen but Miss Penelope moves it closer round 
herself. 

O'Scu. Holloa! 

Flu. Hush 'tis the old lady, Miss P. 

O'Scu. My aunt! Oh, you Don Juan, you! (PoMng 
him in the ribs.) Ha I ha ! [Going towards window. 

Flu. Stop. (Bringing him hack.) Since it is decidedly 
you who are the— certain individual — you know who — 
take this key— it opens — you know what ! 

O'Scu. ( Takes key — examines it — returns it to Fluffky.) 

Don't know any 'thing at all about it. [Goes to alcove, l 

conceals himself behind the curtains. 

Flu. ( Twisting the key about.) There ! I knew she was 
wrong. I knew it was t'other chap ! That can't be 
either — for since 'twas t'other chap that gave me the key^ 
it can't be t'other chap that Bother the key. 



22 THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 

Enter Snugsby at c doors— the heads of Miss Penelope, 
Emily, and O'Scopper disappear at the same moment. 

Snu. {After locking the door and putting the Tcey in his 
pocket, comes down close to Fluffey — taps him on the shoul- 
der.) FlufFey! 

Flu. (Starting.) I wish you wouldn't Holloa ! how 

did you get here ? More trap doors. 

Snu, (Very mysteriously.) Hush 1 are we alone? 

Flu. Quite alone,! (^Aside.) There are only five of us, 

Snu. FlufFey ! I've an enormous secret to unfold. 

Flu. (Aside.) Another secret ! I shall have such a lot 
of them I shan't know which is which- (Aloud.) Unfold 1 

Snu. You must know then -On second thought, I 

won't tell you. 

Flu. Mr. Snugsby, my curiosity is painfully excited. 
You must unfold ! tJnfold, Mr. Snugsby ! 

Snu. Well, then, the fact is But first — sister Pene- 
lope must be kept in the dark. 

Miss P. (From screen.) No she mustn't ! 

Snu. (To Fluffey, R.) I say she must! 

Flu. (l.) Well!— 

Snu Well— you said she mustn't. 

Flu. Not I. 

Snu. I say you did. 

Flu. I didn't. 

Snu. Never mind, you must know, then, that my ward, 
Emily. 

O'Scu. Ah! 

Snu. ( To Fluffey.) You may well say, ah ! 

Flu. But I didn't say— ah ! 

Snu. You did. 

Flu. (Fiercely.) I didn't ! 

Snu. Never mind. The fact is then, that Emily will 
only have half my fortune. (Very mysteriously.) In a 
word, I have a son. 

Flu. A what ? 

Snu. A son. 

O'Scu. (Behind.) Ha! ha!' 

Snu. (To Fluffey.) It's no laughing matter, sir. 

Flu. I didn't laugh. 

Snu. You did. 

Flu. (Indignantly.) I did not. (Suddenly.) Ah! [Pla. 



THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 23 

cing his hand On Snugsby's forehead and looking earnestly 
in his face. 

Snu. What's the matter ? 

Flu. I see it all — the mother ! 

Snu. Ah ! 

Flic. Piccadilly ! 

Snu. Eh ? 

Flu. The child ! 

Snu. What child? 

Flu. Yours. I've seen it — I've felt it — had it in my 
arms — in its cradle. ^ 

Snu Pshaw ! he's now in full gallop to Kingston. 

Flu. More shame for you, unnatural parents. You tied 
him on of course. 

Snu. Nonsense, you know my secret; did he tell you? 

Flu. He ! what at his time of life ! — absurd ! 

Snu. Well, but— 

Flu. Stop a bit. Since it's quite clear you are the " cer- 
tain individual — you know who — take this key ; it opens 
—you know what." 

S71U. The key of my garden gate — (Puts it in his 
pocket.) And now, my dear Mr. Fluffey, since you are ac- 
quainted with this — trifle 

Flu. Trifle !— ha ! ha ! (Aside.) Morality is evidently 
at a discount in the Tropics. 

Snu. I say, of course it will be no interruption to your 
marriage with Emily ? 

Flu. Delicious I (Very seriously.) Mr. Snugsby, how 
a man of your time of life — how a man with ssuch a con- 
siderable quantity of grey hairs — can dare 

Suu. Dare, sir ? — dare ! 

Flu. Yes, sir. In a word, sir. Miss Emily herself — not 
five minutes ago — on this very spot 

O'Scu. (Rushing out and seizing Ylxjffzy.) Silence, or 
I'll strangle you. ' 

Snu. (Seizivg Fluffey.) Speak, or I'll throttle you. 
You said Emily was here. 

O'Scu. Uncle, you're mistaken. 

Flu. Uncle, you're mistaken. 

[Getting behind O'Scuppee. 

O'Scu. He said a female. 

Flu. I said a female, I'll take my oath of it. 



24 THE MOTHER AND CHILD ARE DOING WELL. 

O^Scu. And here she is, [Removes screen, 

Snu. My sister ! Well, Mr. Fluffey, all I can say is, if 
you prefer Penelope, you've my consent — take her. 

Flv. Stuff! absurd ! ridiculous ! 

Miss P. Am I suspected ? Very well. Brother Snugsby, 
search that room. [Pointing to door, R, 1 K. 

[Door opens, and Emily enters. 

Snu. Emily ! 

Max. ( Without.) Where are they ? {Runs in at c, throws 
his arm round Snugsby, shakes hands with Emily, and 
O'ScuppER kisses Mtss Penelope.) Give me joy ! every- 
body give me joy! (Turns and flings his arm round 
Fluffey, who struggles.) Still here ? Never mind ; there's 
no longer any need of secrecy — I can now declare ray 
marriage to all the world ? 

^tf- ^"•'"»^" 

Snu. Married? You? 

Max, Yes, — for more than a year ! 

Snu. But who to ? Who to ? 

Flu. Who to? Good gracious! and can this sort of 
thing have been going on foot for twelve months under 
your very nose (<o Snugsby) without your smelling it out 
— without your having even the remotest sniff of what 
was going on. Snugsby, you're obtuse! {To Maxwell 
and Emily.) Come here— J^joining their hands) — there I 
bless you, my children ! 

Snu. Holloa ! What ? — my ward ? 

Miss P. Emily? 

Snu. Your wife ? [To Maxwell. 

Flu. Of course. Come, Snug, fold them to your aged 
bosom — oblige me by folding them to your aged bosom. 

Emi. {Smiling,) And pray, Mr. Maxwell, since when 
have I been your wife ? 

Max. (Smiling.) I really can't tell ; I must refer you to 
Mr. Fluffey. 

Snu. Explain, Fluffey. 

O'Scu. Elucidate, Puffey. 

Flu, Come, I say, are we going to begin again ? 

Snu. 

■ Speak 



Snu. i 

Miss P. il 
O'Scu. ) 



THE MOTHER AND CHILD AUK DOING WELL. 25 

Flu.. {Shouting.) I will explain— I mean to elucidate — 
and if anybody doesn't like what I'm going to say, when 
I've said what I'm going to say, all I can bay is, I'll give 
'em satisfaction — with those pistols though. I've my rea- 
sons for preferring those pistols ! — so here goes — {crossing 
his anns and very deliberately.) — the Mother and Child, 
in Piccadilly, are quite well. 

iZp. (<^'""'' 

Flu. Yes! {Seizing Maxwell by the collar.) Young 
man ! where's the infant ? Produce the babby — you had 
it last — where is it ? 

Max. Fast asleep in the arms of its doating grandpapa, 
Mynheer Von Foots ! 

Snu. What ! I see it all — Katrine 

Max, Is my wife ! 

O'Scu. And cousin Emily 

Max. Our kind and faithful confidante. 

Snu. Then all's cleared up. 

Flu. (To Emily.) Lovely lass, behold me at your feet. 

Snu. No, no, you turned up your nose at her just now. 

Flu, What of that ? I can't help turning up my nose, 
it's the peculiar construction of that organ. 

Snu, lYou rufused her hand. 

Flu. I did not. 

O^Scu. Puffey, you did — decidedly did. 

Flu. Suppose we argue the point ? 

Emi. Suppose I settle it. Cousin, here's my hand. 

Flu. {Goes forward.) Now what do you think of my 
treatment in thu Tropics ? Rather cool, eh ? Never mind, 
now I am here, I may as well make myself comfortable 
Now ladies — dear ladies — I address myself to you. Ladies, 
you who are mothers — you who hope to be mathefs, (and I 
know you all do, so don't deny it,) rouse your maternal 
feelings in favour of this our bantling ; adopt it, find it a 
home — a parish — let it be here ; and then " the Mother 
and Child" must do well. 

DISPOSITION OF CHARACTERS AT THE 
FALL OF THE CURTAIN. 

R. L. 

Maxwell. O'Scopper. Emily. Fluffey. Snug. Miss F. 



TURNER'S 

DRAMATIC LIBRARY. 



/^:: 



List of Plays 

1 Therese, 

2 Dead Shot, 

3 Hamlet, 

4 Chimney Piece, 

5 Clari, 

6 Dumb Belle, 

7 Unfinished Gent, 

8 Golden Farmer, 

9 John Jones, 

10 Uncle Sam 

11 Tom Cringle, 

12 Hunting a Turtle, 

13 Provost of Bruges, 

14 Wandering Minstrel, 

15 Richard III, 

16 Man about town, 

17 My Uncle John, 

19 The Seven Clerks, 

20 Lucille, 

21 Douglass, 

22 Review, 

23 Ugolino 

24 P. P, 

25 Mummy, 

26 Wrecker's Daughter, 

27 Bottle Imp, 

28 Flight to America, 

29 Wallace, 

30 Omnibus, 

31 Damon and Pythias, 

32 Gladiator, 

33 Pickwick Club, 

34 Love Chase 

35 Pizarro, 

36 Othello, 

3T La Sonnambula, 
38 Lady of Lyons, 



already Published. 

39 Athenian Captive, 

40 Woman's Wit, 

41 The Irish Lion, 

42 The Spitfire, 

43 St. Patrick's Eve, 

44 Rory O More, 

45 The Ransom, 

46 Pleasant Neighbours, 

47 Maid of Ma.riendorpt, 

48 Tom Noddy's Secret, 

49 The Stranger, 

50 Ion, 

51 Richelieu, 

52 Virginius, 

53 Sea Captain, 
54: Love, 

55 Maid of Florence, 

56 John Di Procida 

57 Old Maids, 

58 Cinderella, 

59 Fra Diavlo, 

60 Money, 

61 London Assurance, 

62 Hunchback, 

63 School for Scandal, 

64 Apostate, 

65 Venice Preserved 

66 Iron Chest, 

67 The Bridal, 

68 Love in Humble Life, 

69 Raising the Wind, 

70 Swiss Cottage, 

71 Nipped in the Bud, 

72 Perplexing Predicament 

73 Did you ever send your 
Wife to Brooklyn, 

I 74 Floating Beacon, 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 







